This summer, skip the theater and spend your twenty bucks where it actually buys you something: peace, sun, and a slow-moving river.

For just $20, you can rent a tube and hop on a shuttle to the drop-off point on the Cannon River in Southeastern Minnesota. What follows is pure summertime magic: two and a half to three hours of drifting through green canopies, warm breezes, and water that hits just right. No plot twists, no CGI dinosaurs—just you, your friends, and the sound of the river.

Want to level up? Throw down another $20 and rent a cooler tube. Fill it with drinks, snacks, whatever you need for the journey. There are even places to pull off along the way—little beaches or shaded spots where you can eat, chat, or just float in place and let time melt.

It’s the kind of Midwest summer tradition we grew up on. No screens, no scripts—just a reminder that the best stories aren’t remade every summer. They're lived.

Compare that to dropping $20 at the movies. Maybe you get a ticket. Maybe you get some candy. What you definitely get is another recycled blockbuster with a different actor’s face slapped on the same old franchise: Superman, Jurassic Park, rinse and repeat. This summer, people are literally going to the new Jurassic World just to see the trailer for Christopher Nolan’s Odyssey. That’s not cinema—that’s Stockholm Syndrome.

And I say that as a cinephile and filmmaker.

So here’s the vote from someone who’s lived on both sides of the screen: skip the theater. Go to the river. Or the lake. Or just your backyard sprinkler. There’s more beauty, more joy, and more originality in one lazy afternoon on the water than in all of Hollywood’s reboots combined.

You’ll thank yourself when the credits roll.

If you’re looking for the perfect place to float, check out Welch Mill.They’ve been running tubing trips down the Cannon River for decades and make it easy, affordable, and fun. $20 gets you the tube and shuttle, and the staff is friendly and efficient. Thousands of happy floaters can’t be wrong—just check the 4-star reviews. Bring sunscreen, a speaker, and your chillest friends. You won’t regret it.