Spelljammer Academy Finale: The Punchline Directive
June 14, 2025
Adventure Narratives
Adventure Summary
The Academy is on edge. Secrets have been uncovered. Wildspace grows more dangerous. The cadets—now battle-hardened and powerful—are summoned for one final mission: a recovery operation near the infamous gas giant H'Catha. But what starts as a simple retrieval turns into a desperate battle for survival, hunted by both old enemies and the horrors awakened by Steve the Great.
Act 1: The Briefing
The crew is summoned before Mirt and Bridge Officer Saerthe Abizjn.
“You’ve survived wildspace, sabotage, and an unsanctioned... side mission. Some might say you're lucky. Others might say you're cursed. Either way—you’re still breathing. Which makes you useful.”
Mirt explains:
The Academy has lost contact with a listening post orbiting H’Catha — one of Realmspace's gas giants (a shell-world where mind flayers and beholders dwell).
The post was supposed to deliver critical astronavigation data — data that directly correlates to the navigational anomalies tied to The Punchline.
Multiple thefts of star charts at the Academy appear connected to these events.
They believe this data could help finally locate The Punchline—but only if it’s recovered.
Their mission: retrieve the data. Neutralize any hostile presence.
Mirt finishes:
“You're being tested. Again. Pass or fail—this will be your final trial.”
“You're being tested. Again. Pass or fail—this will be your final trial.”
Act 2: The Journey Begins
The crew launches into Wildspace. But Wildspace has become increasingly unstable under Steve's influence.
Random Encounter Table (roll 1d8 every 2 hours of travel):
Random Encounters
Zhor Vess, the Cryo-Scarred — the lizardfolk they left adrift.
Act 3: The Lizardfolk Hunter
Midway through their journey, an old foe appears: Zhor Vess, the Cryo-Scarred — the lizardfolk they left adrift.
His Ship: A falling-apart corvette held together with scavenged neogi tech, partial mind flayer biometal, and eldritch patchwork.
Overload Pulse (Recharge 5–6): 30 ft. radius. DC 15 INT save or take 4d6 psychic damage.
Actions
Multi-Eye Ray: 3 random rays per turn (roll d6): 1-2. Fear Ray (WIS DC 15) 3-4. Psychic Lance (4d6 psychic, INT DC 15 half) 5. Slow Ray (WIS DC 15, no reactions, speed halved) 6. Paralyzing Ray (CON DC 15 paralyzed 1 min, save end of turn)
Mindwitness Construct
Act 5: The Artifact
Upon recovering the core, the Orb and Skull Map sync. The new chart reveals the probable location of The Punchline, now confirmed to be in a chaotic zone bordering the Far Realm, partially overlapping wildspace and unstable planar rifts.
A low droning echoes through the station as reality ripples—Steve’s presence lingers.
Upon recovering the core, the Orb and Skull Map sync.
Act 6: The Final Escape
As the crew tries to leave:
A full Neogi warship enters orbit, releasing boarding pods.
The Academy intercepts with three Spelljammer ships, buying the crew a window to escape.
Explosions light up the void as the Academy covers their retreat.
The Academy intercepts with three Spelljammer ships!
Act 7: Graduation & The Punchline Directive
Back at the Academy, Mirt delivers the final speech:
"You've done what no others could. But you carry dangerous knowledge now. We can no longer protect you, nor will we hold you back."
The Bridge hands them their final sealed orders:
Directive 71-Alpha: Locate The Punchline."From here, you act outside official channels. Succeed, and you may save the Academy and Realmspace. Fail, and none will come for you."
Rewards
Full Spelljammer Academy Graduation
900 XP each
400 gold stipend each
Roll on Magic Item Table B (DMG) for personal promotion reward
Full control of their upgraded Skiff
Fleet License for Independent Deep Wildspace Operations
Campaign Launch Hook
The mystery deepens: The Punchline's signal grows stronger. Steve whispers from the edges of their minds.
"The punchline, dear boy... is always after the setup."
End of Spelljammer Academy: The Punchline Directive
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